Ella, you don't come from the best gene pool, today was evidence of that, I'll get to that later. The DNA molecules that make up your now tiny body hide little ticking time bombs. Sorry about that. I have them in me too, those pesky ticking time bombs. That is the reason I decided to write this blog.
I actually got the idea for this blog from a college friend of your dad's. I'd love for you to remember me as crafty, creative & artistic but I'm really none of those things. I will certainly steal a good idea though! I stole her idea because someday you'll want you to know things that I want to know now. I hope that I'm there to tell you but after this year, I want to cover all my bases.
You were born this year Ella. You have brought more joy, more laughter and more love to our lives than your dad & I thought was possible. You did one more thing with your tiny little self that someone your age shouldn't have to do....you helped me survive.
Before you were born, your Mimi Sharon, my mom, got worse. She started getting sick with dementia about the same time your dad & I met, but she was doing okay; she knew who we all were and she was so excited about your arrival. The few weeks before you came your Mimi got much, much worse. It was really hard on all of us, there were a lot of hard decisions that we had to make and those days were long and emotionally exhausting. I didn't know how I was going to get through it. Your dad was amazing, he would drive me everywhere! He was so afraid that you would come the second I drove out of town. Little did we know that you had hunkered down in there and were not planning on coming out come hell or high water. Lucky for us we didn't need hell or high water; we had pitocin and a vacuum. Anyway, during those hard days, I would rub my giant belly and talk to you. I would poke my tummy to make you move and push on your heels when you got them too far into my lungs. Most importantly, I wasn't alone during that time. Even when your dad had to go to work, you were always there with me. It was comforting.
I lost my dad, your Poppa D, this year too. I was holding you when the doctor told us. 3 minutes before you were smiling at your Uncle Chip & I, but when the doctor told us you became very serious....like you somehow knew. You made me keep going the few hours after, when I was suffocating in the shock and awful sadness. I had to keep going. You were only 6 months old; you still needed to eat and have a clean diaper. I can't say I was the best mom in those hours after the sky fell in on us, but I do know you got your medicine, you got fed (maybe not on time, but still) and you had a clean diaper. You also helped your Uncle Chip & I smile. You even stole the show at Poppa D's funeral.....you just wanted everyone to see your face. After your Poppa D died, your sweet smile helped me find joy in each new day. You helped me get through.
Today you gave your dad & I a scare!! Your dad & I are both sensis, otherwise known as people with extremely sensitive skin, but you are a super sensi! We tried to give you formula today for the first time since you were an hour old. It was a massive failure. You puked 3 times. Not a small amount, like projectile man puke 3 times. We felt awful for you! We also felt awful for our carpet. Formula puke stinks so bad! You started crying too. You don't usually do that. We still thought everything was okay until you started acting funny, all wiggly. I took you in to check your diaper and you were COVERED in hives! You were the most pathetic thing I've ever seen, you were in misery & trying with all your might to scratch every square inch of your tiny body. We game you benadryl and practically bathed you in hydrocortisone cream. It took NINE HOURS for all the hives whelps to go away. Luckily you are one touch chicka, you were fine as soon as the benadryl kicked in and you got and hour long nap laying on mommy. We have an appointment with an allergist in a few days. Hopefully, you will outgrow all of this!
So, back to the point, the reason I wanted to start this blog is so you'd know what it's like for us as new parents, so if for some reason we're not there to talk to, you still have this. I want you to know we are trying to make sure we take care of ourselves so we'll be there for you. I don't want you to feel like I do, wondering about your childhood with no parents to tell you stories. So Ella & anyone that may come after, these are your stories, your life growing up Courter.
We love you....forever!
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